The Hairy Vagina: When Women Looked Like Women!
By Khalil Amani
I’m getting sick and effin’ tired of these rappers rapping about chicks and their bald pussies! Lil Wayne raps, “I only go down if you keep the grass cut.” (“Drop It Low”) (Translation: I only eat pussy perform cunnilingus if you shave your vagina.) T.I. raps, “Long hair, don’t care. [As] long as none down there. If it’s manicured I can have fun down there. (“Ball” ft. Lil Wayne) Niggas are either afraid or repulsed by a hairy pussy! When did this become chic? Who the fuck started this foogayzi-ass trend?
Is it me, or do these rappers sounds like they’re afraid of the way a real woman looks between the thighs? Is it me, or do these rappers seem to have a fetish for prepubescent little girls? Is it me, or do these rappers sound bitch-de-fied—like ewwww, you got the cooties—if a chick’s sporting a bush between her legs? Respect to rapper Ice Cube, who called vagina the “Nappy Dugout”—acknowledging the hair from whence it covers.
What’s so God-awful wrong with a mound—pubic hair?
I love fucking hairy vagina and I love eating hairy pussy! I love the smell and feel of pubic hair on my cock and face. Ummmmmm!
It’s just a damned shame that the first piece of poontang a young man might see these days is gonna be some chick who looks like his two-year old baby sister when she’d run through the house naked! Like really, what’s sexy about bald pussy—especially ugly bald pussy, because, as any man can attest to, not every vagina is pretty! Indeed, some vaginas need to hide behind a forest of hair.
(I can't front! Not a bad snatch at all! But still...)
I was a teenager of the 70’s. Women weren’t into looking like little girls between the thighs back then. I remember very vividly, the first naked girl I saw—not the first time I had sex, mind you, because, frankly I was afraid of her naked presence. (Hell, I was only in the 7th grade! Give me a break!) She was a grade or two ahead of me and fully developed. Ass. POW! Titties. POW! Vagina. Ah dayum! POW! POW! POW! That thing was so hairy that it was frightening! I’m talking “Where The Wild Things Are” frightening! She tried with all her might to wrestle my clothes off, but I wasn’t having it! I kept my virginity. (Silly me!)
Shortly after that, I had the occasion to spend the night over a friend’s house. That night, his sister, with nothing on but a nighty, jumps in bed with me and again, I saw my second piece of mature, hairy, frightening coochie—and again, I resisted her cravings for me to mount up. I just wasn’t sexually ready, damnit! LOL! (Just so you know, the two women I speak of here are either my Facebook friends or have family who are Facebook friends.)
I was forever changed by these two pre-sexual experiences. I saw those two hairy pussies in my dreams and nightmares! Those hairy vaginas would be chasing me and I just couldn’t run fast enough. (Why do we run slow when we’re sleep?) And the weird thing about those experiences is that I was utterly turned on seeing hairy vagina, yet too scared to act on my feelings. As I began to experience sex through masturbation, those two hairy vaginas made me cum a sea of goo—until I had worked up the nerve to actually consummate my urges for the nappy dugout!
By the time Pam Grier hit the theaters in “Foxy Brown” (1974) and showed us a glimpse of her forest—Nigga what! Nigga who? I was decidedly a bush-man, even though I had yet to sink my tool into any hairy garden. Pam Grier was every Colored boy’s pin-up fantasy! The first pair of titties I ever saw on the silver-screen were Pam Grier’s Double Ds—those “tig-ol’-biddies” were au naturale—hanging just above the allowable gravitational pull of the dreaded saggy titty syndrome. Besides the two chicks from my childhood, it’s because of Pam Grier that I love my women hairy between the thighs—Buckwheat-in-a-headlock hairy! V-shapes and landing-strips are nice, but there’s something so mysteriously/frighteningly/beautiful about a sista with a full bush of pubic hair that beckons the Motherland. Africa Revisited!
Now don’t get me twisted! I’ve fucked dated many chicks that were completely bald or sporting a “Landing Strip,” but none were more sexy to me than a sista with a full bush, a neatly trimmed V-shape. When a woman drops her drawhs—I wanna see a “woman” standing before me, not some bald-eagle piece of pussy! If she wants me to shave it and get our role-play on—now that’s another story. Like some chicks, who fantasize about being raped, many men fantasize about teaching a young (teenage) girl how to take a dick. (Have you peeped “Naughty Bookworms?” Some of the best pud-pulling shit out! So I heard!) As far as porn is concerned, you either have to watch "Retro" porn (from the 70's) or watch Asian porn to see hairy beaver. (Shout-out to Sinn Sage and a few other new-jack pornstars that give us that bush!)
I’ve heard chicks argue that a hairy twat is so unsightly—that it makes their cooter stink—that hair makes them hot down there. Whatever the case may be, it appears that bald-less vagina is more of a fad than anything else.
This young generation of rappers and hip-hop heads talk about women with pubes as if it’s nasty! “Public hairs” (Bernie Mac’s phrase) are anathema to them. Am I suggesting that women let it all hang out—that they don’t shave or trim it up? Hell nah! (Although I must admit that a little pubic hair peeking out of a bathing suit is hawt as hell—but that’s just my freak-nastiness!) Yes! By all means trim that shit! Too much hair about a woman’s pussy lips Labia can give a man a “haircut”—and that’s no fun when a man takes a shower and puts soap on his johnson and feels the burning sensation, due to little, tiny, micro cuts at the base of his ding-dong after sex.
So you see, perhaps I’m writing this blog out of some warped scarring affect, which hairy vaginas had on me in my childhood. Maybe this rap generation is just like me! Maybe the first vagina these rappers saw was bald, thus their preoccupation with the shaven sexual organ. All I know is—as a hip-hop head till the def—I can’t cosign the unhairy vagina! I need that Nappy Dugout and I’m glad to have lived at a time when women looked liked women (between the thighs, that is!)
Follow Khalil Amani on Facebook & Twitter @khalilamani Amani writes for DJ Kayslay's "Originator" and "Straight Stuntin Magazine."