The Khalil Amani Reader

Hip-hop/Spirituality/Freethinking. Speaking for all underdogs!

Bullet-Head Gotti: Go Get Me A Switch!

Bullet-Head Gotti: Go Get Me A Switch!

(PART2)

By Khalil Amani

I’m bored and really feel like writing, so I think now’s the time to give another miscreant and lowdown dirty YouTube scoundrel a little literary thrashing. He’s a funny looking little dude that reminds me of WWF (as it was called back then) wrestling promoter Jimmy Hart aka “Mouth of the South”—a little light-in-the-ass nigga that sells wolf tickets by the pound! He calls himself “Bulletz Gotti,” but I just call him, “Bullet-Head”— and trust me, the boy has a head shaped like a bullet! Don't believe me? You'll see soon enough! Just keep following along.

Now granted. At my age, I’m no great looker. I’m not "Denzel-esque," but I’ve got a mean push-up game—a little pudgy about the mid-section, but I’m on some old man stremph! (Strength) Bald-headed, gray and crooked/bucked teeth, but I'm of sixty (60)! That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

So this young bol—Bullet-Head. He’s like a gnat in my eye or a fly buzzing in my ear. I don’t subscribe to Mr. Little-Man's YouTube channel, but somehow, his videos come across my YouTube Timeline. He first came to my attention through that Bronx River guy—you know the one—the guy claiming he was molested and is now a child molestation advocate, but still got down in gutter with another YouTuber—and to prove his point, bellowed that he’d “stick heavy dick” in his son & daughter. Yeah. That one! Bullet-Head went at him. That was commendable of him to talk that rough, rugged and raw shit to the “Illest, Realest, Killa from da Rivah”—Hassan—getting his YouTube weight up with some clout-chasing of epic proportions by dissing “Papi,” only to now be riding that man’s cock like the Lone Ranger Rides Silver! Hassan has become a mentor of sorts to this bullet-head lil dude.

Hold up Khalil! Before you get started! Ask yourself, “Is this a fair fight?" You’re a literary genius, a wordsmith with few peers—an old-ass granddaddy who’s got wisdom, knowledge and understanding on your side.

Am I being a literary bully by picking on this guy who’s young enough to be my grandson? Let me know if I’m doing too much. I just want to have a little fun at his expense, especially after he said some very unflattering things about my life. Yes! He spouted the obligatory “snitch” shit about me being a federal informant—a snitch, so I owe this little kid an ass-whipping!

Turn them goddamn cartoons off! You'z a grown-ass man! 

Hey Bullet-Head Gotti! I need you to go outside and get me a switch—and you best-not bring me back a small switch, else I’m gonna go outside and bring back a tree and whip that ass! Fuck that though! I got this Louie belt! Pull yo’ skid-marked drawhs down and lay across the bed! I need that bare naked ass (pause)! You ready? Now—who—told—you—that—you—were—a—badass? Don’t move! Don’t you move! You gon’ take this ass-whoopin’! If—I—ever—hear—you—calling—yo’self—bullets—or—Gotti—again—I’m—gonna—take—you—down—to—the—prison—and put you in one-na dem "Scared Straight" programs! As-long-as-you-black-don't-you-ever-be-in-these-YouTube-streets-fakin'!

“Okay, Mr. Khalil. I won’t talk reckless no mo’.” And stop using that damned ammunition moniker (bullets) and you don’t know nann Italian! And you need to apologize to Sa Neter, King Earner, T-Bone From Colors, Wax Dawg, Sexy LadyDee, Real G's TV, TazzoTV, Strictly Hip-Hop, I Smoke Hip-Hop, Shut Up And React, Cory King, Oh So Bossly, GullyTV and Rah Prafit! Apologize nigga—and called them "Mister" & "Miss" when you apologize! And apologize to Keesha Kingston for trying to disrespect her channel!

Apologize nigga!

“I’m sorry Mr. Sa Neter! I’m sorry Mr. King Earner! I’m sorry Mr. T-Bone From Colors! I'm sorry Mr. Wax Dawg! I'm sorry Mr. Cory King! I'm sorry Mr. Oh So Bossly! I'm sorry Mr. Strictly Hip-Hop! I'm sorry Mr. Shut Up And React! I'm sorry Mr. I Smoke Hip-Hop! I'm sorry Mr. Real G's TV! I'm sorry Mr. TazzoTV! I’m sorry Mr. Rah Prafit! I'm sorry Miss Sexy LadyDee! I'm sorry Mr. Gully TV! I'm Sorry Miss Keesha Kingston!”

And apologize to DyseTV for trying to mentor your dumb-ass and you not heeding a word he said! "I'm sorry Mr. DyseTV! I'm sorry!"

Boy!

You come from a good home boy! Ya mammy & pappy & grand mammy & grand pappy didn’t raise you like that! We all saw that video on YouTube where them little Puerto Rican niggas ran yo’ pockets! Why you did’t fight back? The chubby spic even put his arm around your neck like he was your daddy and you were his son—and then he zipped down your hoodie and patted your pockets! All the while, the other nigga interrogated you like a bitch who had cheated on her man and knew that the jig was up! Your head was lowered and you looked dejected as fuck! You sat there just waiting on them lil niggas to bomb on your ass! Oh! But that was nine years ago, you say? Well, my government informant days—a daring and worthy and heroic cause was thirty-five (35) years ago—while you were just a sperm swimming around in your deadbeat dad’s nut-sack, vying for a spot in the real world.

The next time you come on camera, you best have taken a bath too! Your fingernails look like you wiped your ass after taking a good shit with your hands—got dooky—feces—shit under your nails! Look like you stuck your hand up some dirty coochie and got poonanny residue under your nails! Look like you ain’t washed your hands in a month! This nigga, Bullet-Head Gotti is the kind of nigga that’ll try to feed a chick strawberries in a moment of romance and then she stops him dead-ass and says, “Nigga! Go wash your hands before you feed me!” Bullet-Head Gotti is the kind of nigga that’ll offer to make you a peanut butter & jelly sammach, but one look at his nails and you suddenly lose your appetite. Dirty little nigga.

Bullet-Head Gotti needs a mani & a pedi. It’s okay to be metrosexual—you know—clean shaven—well-groomed—and well-dressed. I bet Bullet-Head’s feet look like eagle talons (claws). And my gawd! Ask Hassan for some of his lip gloss! Nigga! Your lips look like you’ve been gnawing on sandpaper! Chapstick! Ever heard of it? Lips look like he’s been on the desert! Looks like Bullet-Head has dried up tranny cock cum-stained lips. Ladies! Can you imagine kissing this nigga? Nigga look like he’ll have your lips bleeding from a simple peck. Nigga's lips look like Herpes Simplex 69!

Like I said, I ain’t Denzel-esque, but damn! I was a handsome-ass man in my twenties and fine as fuck at forty! Before you fix your lips to diss me or anybody else, you best-be having your lip balm handy! Now take your ass to bed boy!

I'll leave you with Bulletz Gotti begging & pleading for his life. "Come on man! Come on man!" The guy's a troll and not built like that! This some funny shit!

Views: 250

Comment

You need to be a member of The Khalil Amani Reader to add comments!

Join The Khalil Amani Reader

© 2021   Created by Khalil Amani.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service