Hip-hop/Spirituality/Freethinking. Speaking for all underdogs!
Chris Brown: What a C.H.U.M.P.!
By Khalil Amani
Drake is that dude! Call him sensitive if you want, but he smashes these industry chicks and keeps it moving. Yeah, he might feel a little mushy over these t.h.o.t.s. chicks, but he ain’t tryna handcuff ‘em or fight over ‘em. I’ve heard him rap about a stripper (Jhonni Blaze), admit to smashin’ his boss’s (Lil Wayne’s) chick, cuddling up to an R&B nigga’s (Chris Brown’s) ex (Rihanna) and making goo-goo eyes at Diddy’s piece Cassie, where he got punched received a two-piece and biscuit for his lingering stares, even though the grapevine says it was over a stolen beat. Indeed, Drake’s a lover, not a fighter. He’s the soft & sensitive version of that Internet nigga “Tyrone”—who walks up to dudes and says, “I’m gonna fuck your wife!” Drake is the quintessential playa, or, as Biggie once rapped, “Don’t leave ya girl ‘round me! True playa for real! Ask Puff Dad-dy!”
Oh, but this dude Chris Brown! Where all my VA playas at? Dude got Virginia men lookin’ hella soft! Chris might talk that tough stufF, but beefin’ over chicks is so UN-hip-hop and so UN-Crip/Blood! (He do beez claimin’ that Blood set!) Should we give Chrissy-poo a Light-skint pass?
Why is Chris-tina beefin’ with male model Tyson Beckford? Because Tyson took a pic with Chris’s ex, Karrueche Tran in Las Vegas? Should Chris be worried about Karrueche's photo-op with Mr. Beckford? Karrueche is not yours anymore Chris! But yeah, he should be worried! Karrueche Tran is one fine woman—so beautifully put together—gorgeous by any man’s standards, arm candy, eye candy and, apparently, the kind of chick that gives fuck-niggas like Chris Brown 2nd & 3rd chances before curbing them—and Tyson Beckford is a gorgeous man! (I ain’t gotta say “pause” like you younguns, ‘cause I gotta proven track record! I might be one-a you nigga’s daddy! As Battle Rapper Loaded Lux once said to Calicoe, “Look at me king!”) Tyson has the body of a Greek African god! (If I could trade in this ol’ rugged body of mine, I’d come back as Mr. Beckford and be on some playboy, paramour, hide-your-girlfriend-type-ish.)
But really, Chris Brown is a C.H.U.M.P.—“Completely Hung Up on Mama’s Pussy!” Let me ‘splain.
A photo-op between Tyson Beckford and Karrueche got Chris feelin’-some-kinda-way, so-much-so that he don’ went on Social Media and wrote (and I quote!), “I'm done all this Internet talking blood. Be in Vegas soon. Keep playing ima f**k ya baby momma and then whoop yo child like he mine.”
Light-skint, Light-skint, Light-skint, Light-skint, Light-skint, Light-skint, Light-skint! (But it ain't 'cause he's light-skint. Christobal is bitch-de-fied! Or maybe he's mad that a dark-skint man looks better?)
Threatening to beat another man’s child? SMH. See? That’s that bitch-ass-ness right there! I see why Chris is gang-affiliated! (You're gonna need more people talking this reckless!) Coming out ya mouf about another man’s seed is disrespectful, flagrant and borders on the absurd! This nigga beats chicks & children! (And the occasional gay dude. Can you say, “Frank Ocean?”)
All Tyson Beckford said to Chris was, “It’s all about fun in Vegas! Come thru papa,” but after Chris’s, “I’m-a fuck ya baby momma and then whoop yo child like he mine” comment—Tyson had to let him know he ain’t no pretty-boy-punk-bitch, by posing at a firing range with an AR-15 to which Christopher responded that Tyson was afraid and called the copsters. Yo Chris! You might run with Bloods, but Tyson is from Harlem, New York! You think he’s bitch-made ‘cause he models?
At the sake of being redundant, all Mr. Beckford did was take a pic with his ex-bae!
In my Remy Ma voice, “Shesus-Khryst!” What is it Chris? Do you think your ex is a slut-bucket with a penchant for letting celebs sex her “shoot her club up” in the spirit of groupie-ism? Or was it that duck-lip smooch she blew Tyson’s way?
We now know that Chris Brown is still feigning for Karrueche Tran. This nigga is having “miss-meal” cramps fo’ dat ass! It’s obvious! He’s willing to risk life & limb to smell that Asian va-jay-jay!
Oh Christopher! Guess what? Indeed you should worry about Mr. Beckford wreaking havoc on that ass! They have far more in common—like they are two beautiful people/models. Like, they are both part Asian (Tyson’s part Chinese & Karrueche’s Vietnamese) and they both seem to be nice people.
You, on the other hand, Mr. Man, stay taking public “L’s!” Where is yo' mama? Where is yo' daddy? You’re riding with a circle of brown nosers sycophants! You need some real men in your life ‘cause you're dealing with lost love terribly! The ‘hood would say Karrueche has your nose wide the fuck open from afar! I’ll just say you’re a C.H.U.M.P.! Completely Hung Up on Mama’s (Karrueche’s) Pussy! Are you really willing to lose life, liberty & freedom over some poontang that you have no control over? From an old-head; get ya mind right, take care of your kid & cut the shenanigans! You ain’t about no gunplay and you ain’t about no gang life! Did you not forget that we watched your light-skint-ass grow up? Make music & live!
Khalil Amani writes for Allhiphop.com, DJ Kay Slay’s Originators & Straight Stuntin Magazines. He’s been featured in L.A. Times, Spin Magazine, DaveyD.com, The Biography Channel. Author of six books, including the groundbreaking “Hip-Hop Homophobes…” (iuniverse.com ’07). Follow on IG @khalil_amani, Facebook, Twitter @khalilamani.