Hip-hop/Spirituality/Freethinking. Speaking for all underdogs!
Faizon Love Ethers Funkmaster Flex! (At His Own Radio Station!)
By Khalil Amani
For the last five years, comedian Faizon Love and New York Hot 97 radio DJ Funkmaster Flex have had an ongoing beef over Flex’s dissin’ of R Kelly after he was acquitted of peeing on an underage girl.
I love Faizon Love! (No homo & no pun intended) Faizon Love is best known for his roles in the iconic film "Friday" as "Big Worm" and more recently, the movie "Couples Retreat." Mr. Love has been in over 40 movies! He was actually the voice of comic Robin Harris (R.I.P.) in "Bebe's Kid's."
Enter Funkmaster Flex...
It’s a silly beef, but I understand Faizon. His angst over Flex’s dissing of R Kelly is based on a history of black folk getting the short-end-of-the-stick when it comes to justice. As Richard Pryor once joked, “When you go downtown to get justice that’s just what you’re gonna get—just us [white folks].”
Faizon Love was on some historical shit, citing the OJ Simpson case and the Michael Jackson case as “it’s-about-time-a-black-man-beat-the-system!” Black folk understand where Mr. Love was going with this and so should Flex.
No one condones a grown-ass man peeing and a child, but Faizon’s argument was more about the [in]-justice system than deconstructing the particulars of R Kelly’s case. He feels that, as a black man, Flex should not criticize Kelly, because, as Faizon suggests—the system sticks a microscope up a black man’s ass and asks, “Hey, what’s this?” If Kelly beat the case, get off his dick!
So Faizon Love took his rotund self over to Hot 97 radio and aired Funkmaster Flex out to Flex’s coworkers—Rosenberg and Cipha Sounds. The fact that Love had the balls, yea, the audacity—doff!—the ratchedness to show his face over there and shit on Rosenberg and Cipha’s boss (presumably Funkmaster Flex) was a jack-move worthy of OG status! Oh boy did Faizon shit on Flex! I mean, it was as if Faizon went to the all-you-can-eat buffet, and ate "all he could eat" and then 8-hours later, when it was time to shit defecate—decided to use the Hot 97 station as his personal bathroom! Faizon dropped a dinosaur turd on them niggas!
So-much-so that ol’ fooGAYzi-ass Rosenberg, in classic money-grubbing Jew fuck-boy fashion—only thinking about his money (job)—dropped the fucking mic and walked off the set, leaving Cipha Sounds to fend for himself! To paraphrase it; “I’m outta here! Flex is my boss and I need my job!” Peep the full ethering right cheah!
Oh course, Funk Flex shot back on his own show with the obvious retorts about Faizon’s weight. It was calculated and contrived. His fat jokes were semi-funny (more funny to the phallic-rider off camera than anybody else! Or was it a laugh track?), but it still left us with a limp dick thinking, “Damn! Faizon shitted on you in your house!” Where dey do dat at?
As for Faizon being from Newark and living in San Diego--those jokes fell flat on their face. (I lived in San Diego too! S.E. Imperial Ave. bitch! and Newark--South Orange Ave. & 10th bitch! Niggas love to play the "I'm from so-and-so"--like that makes them a bad Negro! According to Faizon's Wikipedia page, he's from Cuba, so why was Flex insisting that he rep Newark?)
I mean, like Luther Vandross, don’t nobody wanna see a skinny Faizon! Faizon’s aesthetics is part of what makes him funny! Can you imagine going to a skinny Faizon Love show? I can’t.
In the end, Faizon the comic made historic sense of dissing black men who “beat the system” when so many more were victims of the system. Shame on Flex for not understanding history! Faizon ethered Flex in his own house! Damn!
Khalil Amani writes for DJ Kay Slay's Originator's & Straight Stuntin Magazine. He is the newest member of the Allhiphop.com blogging team. Watch out now! Follow on Facebook & Twitter at Khalilamani. Youtube @ yahweh12.