Gray is the New Black!
By Khalil Amani
Have you ever seen some old dude in the club, clearly in his mid to late fifties (or older) with jet-black hair—mustache and beard—trying to perpetrate like he’s thirty—like he’s not graying? I’ve been that guy!
It all started at age 36 plucking my two or three gray chin hairs out. Then I advanced to using a woman’s black eye-liner and painting the gray black. Then there were so many gray hairs that I started hitting up the drug store and buying a whole bottle of dye just for my beard and mustache, which eventually went to my head as well.
Just For Men, Grecian Formula—I’m fucking through wasting my money on hair dyes!
Some have asked me why I don’t just go with a clean-shaven face. Back then, I’d retort, “Because I’d look gay!” How many black men do you know without any facial hair? Most black men around my way have some type of facial hair—a goatee, mustache, a full beard. Facial hair is a prerequisite to black manhood in the ‘hood—and it’s cool!
Unlike white guys, we black dudes have fuller lips. Facial hair masks our features and adds proportion to our visage. White guys look cool without facial hair. Black guys look like they’re trying to be white emulate European aesthetics when they shave their facial hair. Don’t get me twisted—some brothas can pull off the hairless face, but I’m not one of them. I tried it once (when I was 33) and I looked like I had just sucked on the bitterest lemon you could image!
So facial hair is a must for me. The question is do I let it stay in its natural state—gray or continue the charade that my hair is black by dying it? Think I’ve made up my mind, thanks to the help of other old black guys perpetrating the fraud.
These old crusty, rusty-butt dudes in the club with the jet-black hair, looking all wrinkly about the eyes and neck—shit just looks fake and weird and, well, stupid!
When you get older, you notice these things.
A few weeks ago I had an epiphany in the night club. As some of you know, my mustache and beard is about 97% gray. Trying to keep it young and fresh for these hip-hop heads, I’ve been in the business of dying it black for the last nine years. Well no more of that! (At least that’s how I feel at this moment.) Just call me old graybeard. I’m declaring that “Gray is the New Black” and that you shouldn’t have to choose between hip-hop and gray whiskers. Why? Because every one of you young cats who continue to breathe hip-hop will get old one day and have gray hairs in unimaginable places—gray eyebrow hairs, gray nose hairs, gray pubic hairs, gray asshole hairs!
So! At 50th years of age, I have come to grips with my old graying ass. This is who I be—hip-hop’s old gray bearded one... at least for now!
I guess what men of my age are most afraid of is not being appealing to younger chicks. They say we look "distinguished" and all with the gray, but then they go and call us "Sugar-daddy" for wanting a young succulent piece of ass. What gives?
But I'm slowly starting finding out that young chicks dig older dudes who have swag. Aside from the daddy-issues that some of these young women have, they find us old guys quite amusing and very gentlemanly. As you can see, they've got love for Khalil Amani.
So guys, far and wide, let Khalil show you the way to the "Promised-Land of Old Geezers" who still wanna smell young poontang. Don't be disheartened with being called a "dirty old man." It's a compliment! What they are acknowledging is that you've got sexual-swag and your libido hasn't gone the way of your hairline. They can see the way you carry yourself that you'll give them "all-nighters" if they let you get in that vagina nappy-dugout.
But the key is to keep it fresh! Don't try to look like you're 21. Keep it age-appropriate with a hint of young man's swag and before you know it, you too, will be a sugar-daddy in your own right!
Hold up! What was I thinking? Nix this whole effin' blog! I still like my whiskers black on occasion! LOL!