The Khalil Amani Reader

Hip-hop/Spirituality/Freethinking. Speaking for all underdogs!

I Know Why White People Live Longer…

I Know Why White People Live Longer…

By Khalil Amani

Expanding one’s world-view is an important part of the maturation process. It allows us to see the broader world from the perspective of others. Sometimes we see that we are not alone in our poverty and ignorance and decadence and wealth. We find that there are people poorer than us and we find that there are people much wealthier than us.

Such is the case of my new move to the Brickell Ave. section of Miami, a pseudo/quasi/ghetto “Rodeo Drive” of sorts, where the median income borders on the mid-six-figures—where old money meets the nouveau riche (newly rich)—where finding one's Raison d'être (reason for existence) is intimately tied to the size of a person's bank account; where Mercedes Benzes and Ferraris line the streets and hawt chicks walk dogs in spandex & heels. I mean, like, the chicks are sooooo freakin' hawt that I even saw a cripple broad that I'd bang! This is where I live and as you probably already know, it’s predominately white with a nice mixture of Latinos and a few heads Blacks like me. I live in a condo with my bestie (from high school, the fraternity, the cult & tag-teaming chicks back-in-da-day) on the 16th floor, overlooking the pool, the ocean and downtown Miami. I can see forever from my balcony!


(That's where I live... that white building in the center and my windows face the ocean!)

 

Part of me thinks, “You ain’t got no business living here!” The other part bellows back, “Ah nigga! This is you!” It’s just a damn shame that I feel like I don’t deserve to be here! Could my psychosis be part of a larger problem that black folk have with “moving on up?” Like, Blacks have been suppressed and oppressed for so long that when good fortune comes their way, they start to feel “some-kind-of-way” about prosperity—like they are “selling-out” for enjoying life.

Drake and Nicki Minaj rapped, “Everybody dies, but not everybody lives…” That’s some profound shit coming from the mouths of rappers, don’t cha think? We all must die, but how many of us really live—experience the fullness that life has to offer? How many of us travel, have the finances to shop at will, dine at the finest restaurants—experience different cultures? That’s what they were rapping about! Get the fuck outta your “hood” and see what’s going on in the rest of the world! Some of us never leave the five-mile radius we were brought up in as kids.

Have a cup of culture-shock with a twist of lemon!

It is no shock that white people (on average) live longer than black people—and I think I figured it out! They live! The key to longevity is living!

On any given morning, afternoon or evening, my “hood,” Brickell Ave. is a bustling metropolis of white folk walking, jogging, and riding bikes. And when night falls, all of the sidewalk cafes and bars are busy, serving up the catch-de-jour, which is not just food, but rather the intimacy of familial bonds and relationships. It might seem like a simple thing, but white folk be livin' that life! They have stress relievers, unlike black folk, who come home from a hard days work and lie on the couch and complain about “the man.”

While black folk sit around and complain about life, white folk are up moving about. While black folk dine over a greasy fare of pork, collard greens, fried chicken and red Kool-Aid, saturated in Diabetes sugar, white folk be on some healthy eating—some vegan diets—some exercise and all-around healthy living. I’m telling you—I know why white people live longer…

I know there are poor white people and not all white people live like they’re on Brickell Ave., but I can’t cite any black communities that live like this—save, probably, maybe Maryland’s Prince George County, which harbors some of America’s wealthiest Negroes. It is the same in LA’s Beverly Hills community and Denver’s Cherry Creek district—well-to-do (rich) white people who live a life of luxury.

Right under my condo they’ve got several (exotic) restaurants, a day spa, a physical therapy joint and a friggin’ 24-hour emergency care mini hospital! Just think—without leaving the confines of my building I can get a massage, eat a sushi dinner (I really don’t like sushi though), go get my knees worked on (I don’t have bad knees either. I’m just sayin’…) and have a heart-attack and walk myself into the hospital before any ambulance shows up! And you wonder why white people live longer… This is how they livin’!

And these white boys who are into bangin’ as many chicks as possible without the repercussions of some psycho-bitch-from-hell stalking them—they’ve got security up the wahzoo—front door entrance locked, two rent-a-cops upon entry and if, by chance, you make it passed them you’ll need a lil’ device called a “fob” to make the elevator lift off. See? Stress free! Unlike a nigga in da ‘hood trying to be a player who has to hide his car around the corner, lock the doors, draw the curtains and whisper to a chick, as not to get caught cheating with another hood-rat.


(The Psycho-Bitch-Protector... the "fob")


The adage is that “the love of money is the root of all evil.” But money, in the long run, helps keep a nigga in the physical realm! White folk know this! And I think my room-doom knows this too, because, although he has us working out, he’s upped his game and is now doing some crazy power-training shit with some white boys that will have him rocking six-pack abs in three months or less (not to mention that he has a cabinet full of vitamins and supplements and eats healthy as fuck!).

My friend devotes a whole day to cooking up an entire month’s worth of food and freezing it in Tupperware containers—one container, one meal—skinless chicken or fish with broccoli, squash, potatoes and rice. That nigga’s surrrrrious! LOL! Meanwhile, yours truly be eatin’ peanut butter & Jelly, bologna & cheese sammiches or a TV dinner. Hey! I’m trying! I do work out!

He’s trying to scare wean me off junk food by telling me that the government is gonna impose a “junk food tax” on foods which aren’t safe for healthy consumption. Do I look afraid?

 

Let’s face it! We’re all gonna die from something—some of us earlier than the rest of us, but we’re gonna die. It looks like white folk are planning on staying the course for as long as humanly possible and for their efforts, I do applaud. I’m just not particularly sold on the idea of eating vegan-style and gnawing on Tofu while working out six times a week for the rest of my life is the business. I love the efforts of white people to stay healthy and live a long life. Now, can anybody help me get off my duff and get my "white people" on?

 

 

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