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Luke Skyywalker! Has Too Much Poonanny Warped Your Brain?

Luke Skyywalker! Has Too Much Poonanny Warped Your Brain?
By Khalil Amani

Damn! Damn! Dayum! What has gotten into Luther “Luke Skywalker” Campbell? I used to be a big Two-Live Crew fan. Their music could set it off right! Remember “Heeeey! We want some puuu-ssssy!” Remember the dance “Throw That Dick?” Remember when Luke and Two-Live Crew were relevant—setting precedence on the First Amendment right to Freedom of Speech when the government ruled their lyrics obscene?

Luke was hip-hop’s Hugh Hefner—our black playboy. Luke put my city, Miami on the hip-hop map!

That was the old relevant Luke & dem.

Today he’s been reduced to a mere shell of himself, going on radio and dissing his children—calling them “Sperm Donations”—sperm donations to some money-grubbing, skanky, gold-diggers from his past, who bore him four (or five) children during his man-whoring 80’s days.

The brouhaha started with Luke’s daughter going on the Internet ( and running his name through the mud—thoroughly!—making accusations that Luke was Ike-esque (a woman beater). The daughter lambasted her father for not being there for her and her siblings and said Luke doesn’t claim or acknowledge his children, save the one infant by his current wife.

(Luke with current wife and two of his throw-away "sperm donation" kids)

I didn’t believe her story because she appeared dishonest and her video, contrived.

Enter Luke.

So Luke finally speaks out on his situation. He says (and I quote) “I have one kid. His name is Blake Campbell and he stays with me and me and my wife raise him. I’ve made mistakes in my life and I’d like everyone to understand that It’s important to practice safe sex and it’s important to not have sex without condoms because you’ll be sperm donating and when you sperm donate to angry mothers then unfortunately it’s about a check. When you get a check, the results of that check ends up where your sperm donation kids are online talking bad about you.”

The fuck? Luther, Luther Luther! How could you call your children a “mistake” and a “sperm donation?” That’s just wrong on so many levels! Granted, as a father myself, with a few “baby mamas” and at least one baby mama that is hell-bent on leaning on my pockets till the bitter end, I understand his angst against this type of woman. There are some women that see kids as a paycheck. There are some women that will still seek child support for their grown-ass children who are damn near 30! There are some women that will bombard their children with every wrong thing their father’s ever done to drive a wedge between child and father! There are some women that could care less about the father’s day-to-day involvement in his child’s life. All they want is the money honey!

But still! A real man’s gotta take the high road and not let the emotionalism of his ex or children make him stoop to calling his kids “sperm donations.” Clearly, Luke’s kids love him and are lashing out the best way they can—however wrong.

The parent ALWAYS has the power to corral his children back into the fold. Luke claims he’s paid millions to “baby mamas,” which, if he had it like that, he should’ve! But now his kids are grown and have taken issues with his standoffishness—with the fact that he’s seemed to move on and start another family and cast them into the garbage can. They are angry! In Luke’s mind, he thinks their dissing of him has to do with his ex baby mamas vindictiveness and continued gold-digging ways.

Even if that is the case—his kids are grown! He can speak directly to them and get some understanding, but instead, he’d rather write them off as the result of his unsafe sexual habits of past decades. Now he’s advocating “safe sex”—not in the traditional sense of safe-sex as protection from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, but rather, from giving women babies to use as paychecks.

Luke has lost his damned mind! Has too much poonanny warped your brain? Whether now or later, you’re gonna have to answer to your children! When your life is dimming and your kids have gotta wash your ass in your old age—this is when you will realize what a douche-bag you’ve been in life. But right now? You’ve got a young piece of pussy under you and you’re feeling yourself!

And what of Luke’s new wife? If he’ll disown his children, might he not one day trade you and your child in for a newer and improved model? I’d be very weary of a person who disowns his blood.

Luke, in all of the Christian-ness that his soul can muster up had better read Jesus’ profound statement on messing with children—But Jesus said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it [offended] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt 19:14; 25:40)

In the interview Luke plays the religious card, citing the Bible’s teaching to “Honor Thy Mother and Father that thy days may be long…,” but fails to remember “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). God requires that parents be understanding of contemptuous children and steer and nurture them on the path of righteousness—not call them “mistakes” and “sperm donations.” Luke had better recognize that when the final bell is sounded (he dies), it will be his children—all of his children that will eulogize or diss him—It will be his children that will carry on his legacy—It will be his children that continue to let the world know what a dipshit he was.

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