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MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen: My Dad’s Phallus (Bank Account) is Bigger Than Yours!

MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen:
My Dad’s Phallus Bank Account is Bigger Than Yours!

By Khalil Amani

I was watching MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen” the other day and became nauseous. (You’re probably wondering why a 50 year old man is watching such teenage coonery. I get all these effin’ channels and couldn’t find a damned thing to watch!)

So I got to thinking about writing a blog, after watching a couple of segments of this ostentatious and profligate show of wealth. Like, if I really had millions of dollars, would I go to the extremes that these rich and/or celebrity parents go through to convince the world that they are ballin’ out of control? Don’t get it twisted! I love my babies as much as the next parent, but would I allow a sixteen year old to own a Mercedes, a Range Rover or a Bentley Coupe? (Like, where does a kid go from there? There’s nothing to aspire to! Most of us grown folk don’t own a Bentley!) Would I be willing to shell out anywhere from $100,000 to 1,000,000 (one million US Dollars) for a party, whose ultimate and underlying purpose is to help my kid become an even bigger asshole than they already are—while at the same time, expose my phallus (penis) bank account before the world? Would I be willing to “make it rain” for an ingrate child who half-ass does their chores? Like, really, who is the bigger prick narcissist? My kid for wanting to flaunt the family wealth before their lesser economically unstable peers—or me for allowing this financial fuckery?

In one episode—the kid of a rap mogul claims that Sugar Hill Gang started hip-hop. The fuck? “Darnell” goes on to praise himself, as though he is rap royalty. This UN-royal pompous kid invited all of his white friends over, as he sat in a king’s chair and presented them with a personal invitation to his par-tay. And then his dad spent 40gs to get Rihanna to escort him to his 15th birthday party. This deluded kid thinks that he’s the shit because Rihanna’s on his arm, never understanding that without his daddy’s money—he’d never, ever see Rihanna! It’s all smoke-n-mirrors! It’s flo-showin’! Bottom-line? His daddy is teaching his young son how money can buy him pussy—how money can make people like you—that he’s just a john—a prostitute’s trick! If you’ve gotta pay someone for their company, this makes you a john, because the kid’s fantasy is that Rihanna is his girl…friend, albeit his daddy paid for it!

What I abhor mostly about these rich-ass kids is the way they decide who’s coming to their party and who’s not. These mofos can be cruel! It is evident that their parents have not taught them that everyone deserves respect and if they have that goddamned much money—why wouldn’t they want to make this an experience that all of their peers can partake in? These young cocksuckers have been schooled in the art of vanity, superficialism, profligation, peasantry, peonage, and uppity-ness! Bourgeois bastards!

For once, can one of these kids not be so consumed with materialism? I’d like to see one of these rich kids celebrate their birthday by giving back to the community! Or at the very least, gather all of the so-called nerdy kids—the fat kids—the pencil-neck geeky kids—the kids who ride the short bus to school and some of the poorest kids in school and make them feel special on your day. There is no greater feeling than helping the less fortunate! Perhaps when they have their 18th or 21st birthday they will realize that it’s not always all about them.

Parents have to teach their children about being unselfish—about philanthropy—about altruism. Bill Gates is a great example of not giving children the whole-kit-n-caboodle. The guy is worth 58 Billion dollars! How much will his kids get when he dies? Only (yeah, only) 10 million to each of his three children. I’m sure I’d leave more than that to my kids (500 million apiece sounds fair) and the rest to charity—a charity whose run totally by unpaid staffers!

It’s about teaching children about fairness and equity and hard work and sharing and giving back. When parents hand over expensive cars and such to kids, they are teaching their child nothing! Perhaps MTV will create a show called “Where Are They Now?” and look at these kids’ lives 20 years from now. Watch how many will be in rehab, jail, drug & alcohol addicted and dead! They were given too much too soon and had nothing to aspire to. Life was handed to them on a silver platter. They were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, which choked the shit out of them as adults.

Money is good! Money is NOT the “root of all evil” as many ignorant Christians misquote the Bible. The Bible says that “the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.” (I Timothy 6:10)

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Comment by SirRah on June 9, 2010 at 10:38pm

You hit the nail right on the muthafuckin head!

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