The Khalil Amani Reader

Hip-hop/Spirituality/Freethinking. Speaking for all underdogs!

Eating His Groceries: Taboo or Nah?

By Khalil Amani

A straight black man will rarely admit to having his ass played with (in some capacity). Certainly, male hip-hop heads avoid getting their booty-holes played with, but I think there’s some lying going on. Other than Trick Daddy (Shout-out to his now defunct, "Eat-A-Booty-Gang!") and 50 Cent (who admitted to having his crack attacked by Vivica A. Fox), a rapper will go to his grave disclaiming to have gotten his booty-hole tampered with. I remember having this booty-hole discussion/conversation with DJ Kay Slay a few years ago. (Don’t ask me how we got on this subject. I think it had to do with all those bootylicious, phat-bottom women in his magazine, Straight Stuntin). Slay told me period/pointblank that (paraphrasing), “I wish a chick would try to touch my ass! Hell no! I’ll grab her head and pull her up! No! Not happenin'!”  Lol!

Does it make a man gay if he likes a chick to play with his ass? Some tend to think so. Let’s talk about it.

Let me give you my take on splacking sphincter, tonguing bung-hole, rimming booty, lapping the brown-eye, assaulting ass and eating groceries. I’m a product of the ’70’s, having come into my sexual awakening somewhere in 1974. I remember when it wasn’t cool for a black guy to admit to eating pussy. We young black teenage boys were told that it was a “white boy thing.” Black men don’t eat pussy! But boy was I wrong!

At 16, I used to hang around this white guy named Eddy, who was about 24. I’d watch him work on his VW Bug while telling me all about chicks. He assured me that one day soon, I’d be muff-diving---eating vagina. Ewwww! I thought at the time, but somewhere betwixt 16 & 17, I dove head first into some "Nappy Dugout" (Ice Cube's word for vagina) and never looked back! I secretly destroyed the prevailing stereotype that black guys don't eat vagina, but dared not tell the homies that I ate some cootie-cat (and liked it!). Ever since then, I’ve been a connoisseur of eating vagina--since 1977. For many years, I thought I was an anomaly when it came to black men doing oral sex on women. I thought I was the only black man in America who secretly loved "Dining at the Y" (Performing oral sex on women, clinically called, "coitus.")

I tell you about all of this vagina eating, because I remember a time when eating vagina was just as taboo of a subject as eating ass is today. The taboo subject of black men getting their booty holes tampered with is our present-day black man sexual conundrum. To have my ass eaten or not to be eaten? That is the question! Nobody—I mean, like the taboo of black men not eating stank-box back-in-da-day—you will never get a black man to admit to having his "salad tossed" (getting his ass licked) or even more (or worse?), getting a finger buried up his bunghole. Kanye West won’t admit to enjoying a feminine finger stuck up his rectum, even though his ex, Amber Rose says that's his shit.

I’m trying to help Kanye West and many of you sexual liars. NOW!

If you are anywhere as sexually active as I was in my 20’s & 30’s—guess what? There’s a chick out there that wants to dabble in your ass! Call me Negrodumas, but before you young men leave this earth, you will experience some semblance of pleasure in the "nether region" of your sphincter muscle. Oh, it's coming! Expect it like you expect Jesus! And if you find the woman of your dreams, you too, will eat that ass on occasion! Has Khalil ever ate a woman's ass? Hell yeah! I've ate a few women's asses, but that's only after knowing them for some amount of time and when I did, it was a treat! LOL!

Confession! Yes! I’ve had my ass “eaten like groceries” and I liked it! (Waiting on the remix to Katy Perry's, "I Kissed Girl" [and I liked it!]) It was the natural progression of a man who dealt with many lovers—too numerous to count, but if I had to put a number on it, it would be upwards of 500 women I've bedded down, as a young black stallion once upon a time. I'm 58. I can admit to having my ass blown out by a woman's tongue and really care not what you think about my sexuality! (The beauty of being old!)

Groceries aka licking ass

But let’s go back. The first time I had my ass played with was by a doctor who checked my prostate when I was 26 in order to become a police officer. Fucking doctor ran up in me with what I thought at the time was a 12” index finger without KY Jelly! He left me balled up in the corner of his office floor in a fetal position. Lying there, I looked like a baby with a big dick the way he did me! I was in excruciating pain and bled from my asshole a week afterward! I was walking around with a Kotex pad in my drawhs to absorb the blood seeping from my booty-hole. Dr. wreaked havoc—ran roughshod over my ass! And needless to say, I didn’t get recruited by the police academy. Damn.

Although not a sexual experience, I knew my booty-hole was not to be tampered with, touched, tickled or even leered at after that doctor did me dirty. For 10 years, I never thought about my ass being touched and then—and then—and then, when I turned 36, I got turned out by a woman who loved to eat ass more than she liked to fuck (well, it might’ve been a tie).

There she was—giving me brain (oral sex). Slowly but surely, her mouf continued going down souf—head, shaft, balls, that musckle under your balls and then shazzam! Did she just flick the tip of her tongue on my asshole? She sure did and it sent me through the roof!

Before I knew it she had me in the buck—you know, both legs up in the air like a chick, knees damn near touching my ears and her tongue eating my ass like “groceries” (as the song suggests). Ah dayum! Again. I'm 58 years old! Fuck what you think!

Now Kanye West and y’all can front, but that was some of the most pleasurable shit I’ve ever felt! Again, mind you, I was 36 years old and had done every imaginable thing a man can do to a pussy. I’ve had a menage a trois (threesome). I’ve had two live-in girlfriends and used to fuck all night, err’night, but this ass-eating? I had no frame of reference for the experience. I felt conflicted. Having my legs up in the air made me feel like a woman—like a bitch and she treated me like a bitch when she was eating my ass. I had a love/hate relationship with her eating my ass! Why did I keep letting her throw my legs back and tongue-fuck my ass? ‘Cause the shit felt good!

Oh she really treated me like a bitch—making me assume the doggie position—face down, ass up and pulling my cock back between my legs, while destroying my asshole with her tongue! Had me purring & squirming & screaming like a bitch! This chick went so far as to make me say that I was “her bitch” when she was doing me that way! Indeed, I was her bitch! (Role-play. At some point in your sexual life being the dominant sex partner gets old. Lighten up and have some fun!)

But, being the man that I am—after all that ass-play I had to flip her over and get some straightenin’! Grudge-fucking, they call it. I used to destroy her sex-hole just to regain my manhood & masculinity. She enjoyed that too.

Everybody has a freak level. I draw the line at ass-eating. Yes! I love having my ass eaten Kanye West and 50 Cent! (Pause! Should a man tell another man he likes his ass eaten? I'm only telling Kanye as a teaching tool; for the sake of the culture. Side-eye, LOL), but I ain’t into that insertion shit! Hell no! I'm still scarred from that police officer physical 35 years ago!

I ain’t sayin’ it’s gay for a man to let a woman penetrate his ass, but it’s hella suspect. She can lick it, but she best-not try to stick a finger in me! Hell-to-the-no! If a chick ever tried to do that, I'd be on the cover of Ebony magazine, with the caption, "Man Rips Woman's Index Finger Off With His Sphincter Muscle!" And speaking of penetrating a man's ass---have you heard the recent allegations by one of R. Kelly's underaged lovers? One of them claims that R. Kelly took a nine (9) inch dildo, no lube, up his rectum---the whole thing---and that she put on a yellow strap-on ding-a-ling at sixteen years old and fucked R. Kelly doggy-style up the ass while slapping his ass and calling him a "bitch!" Now that goes beyond a man having his ass ate out! That's that gay shit right dere! She's gone on record to say that indeed, R. Kelly is gay! So now, a question can be asked, "Is it gay for a man to let a woman ass-fuck him with a dildo?" I think so, but I'm sure some will argue, no; that it falls into the realm of sexual fantasy.

I believe it was Sigmund Freud who first psychoanalyzed our butt-holes. According to his “Psychosexual Development” theory there are five (5) stages, the 2nd one called the “Anal Stage” where babies between 18 months & 3 years old discover a new erogenous zone—their assholes. Pooping becomes pleasurable.

Men! Can we admit that pooping is hella pleasurable? (Unless you’re constipated) Having a good bowel movement ranks high on the pantheon of pleasurable moments, just behind great sex, but before good food and good sleep. The point is that our anal orifice—our sphinctorial cavity is a pleasure zone. Gay men know this, women who love anal sex know this and secretly, so do straight men! Straight men have had shits bowel movements that have given them goose bumps and near rectal orgasms! LOL. Say I'm lying!

Many of you will say that any man that likes his booty-hole played with is gay. Of course, I thoroughly disagree with that. This is why people like Kanye West had to address the allegation from Amber. Our society—hip-hop in particular shuns & shies away from the male booty-hole. Our understanding of sexuality borders on the absurd. We have a herd mentality when it comes to heterosexuality and these kinds of gray (or gay, if you will) areas. Like the black guys of the '70's who lied to me about eating pussy, I suspect that many of you young (male) hip-hop heads are eating booty and getting your booty eaten and lying to us. (But I'm-a just sip on this tea!) All I know is that every woman who’s ever ate/eaten my booty-hole never said a bad word about me after the relationship was over. Like really, what can they say? They ate my booty-hole! Kanye West! Own that shit! Relish in the fact that Amber Rose has fingered your cookies and ate your groceries! Flip-da-Script! It only matters because she knows what ignorant people will think of you. Is it taboo? Whatever two consenting adults like, they like! Who are you fucking for? The world or yourself? I'm with 50 Cent on this one! If Vivica A. Fox or Amber Rose wants to toss my salad, I'm with it! Why? Because if a chick licking my ass is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right! Comedian TK Kirkland said, "I like getting my ass licked! Every nigga in here done had his ass licked and felt like a bitch for 20 minutes!" LOL. Eat the groceries bae!

Author, poet, essayist, blogger, troll, satirist, cultural critic, freethinker, father, grandfather, husband & C.O.O.N (Consciously Optimistic, Overtly, Nihilistic), Khalil Amani is "Gay hip-hop's Straight Advocate." A Miami native who writes for Allhiphop.com, DJ Kay Slay’s Straight Stuntin Magazine. He’s been featured in L.A. Times, Miami New Times, Miami Herald, Thump/Vice/Noisey.com, Forward, Spin Magazine, DaveyD.com, DJ Kay Slay's Streetsweeper Sirius XM Radio Show, The Opperman Report, Sa NeterTV, CBS's, "West 57th Street" (1988), The Biography Channel's, "I Survived a Cult" (2010), The Biography Channel's, "Escaping Evil: My Life in a Cult" (2013) and 2018's, ID (Investigation Discovery) Channel in conjunction with People Magazine "Cults." Look for upcoming feature on Mr. Amani in February 2019 on Oxygen Channel and currently in a special edition of People Magazine on cults. Amani is the author of seven books, including the groundbreaking “Hip-Hop Homophobes...” (iuniverse.com ’07). Khalil was the first media person to write about the allegations surrounding Afrika Bambaataa allegedly getting stabbed for date-raping a young man in 2013 and is in the upcoming documentary on the Afrika Bambaataa allegations, Trapped in a Culture. Amani majored in English and Black Studies at San Diego Mesa College and the University of Nebraska. Follow on IG @khalil_amani, Facebook, Twitter @khalilamani. Email @khalilamani@yahoo.com

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