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Stop Writing in ALL CAPS, You Dip-shit!

       Stop Writing in ALL CAPS, You Dip-shit!                   

                                                           By Khalil Amani

Welcome back boyz & girlz, menz & womenz to another blog... dealing with words. As usual, I'll try to use a little wit & humor with a dash of sarcasm & satire to drive my writing points home. I mean, after all, straight ahead English learning can be boring as fuck, but before we get to the topic at hand, let me get serious for a moment and open this blog up with a scene from the 1970's movie, "Mandingo," which gives us a very real slave narrative on what it was like for the African captives who became slaves---what it was like in the Antebellum South and the grave "shit-uation" they endured for trying to learn how to read. Check it out!

Parents! There should be no reason under heaven that your children should not know how to read! Teach them babies to read even if you have to put a foot up their asses! Our African ancestors died for reading! Nuff said!

Fast forward. Let's talk about writing in ALL CAPS.

Do you want to be an effective communicator, whether verbally or with the written word or do you want to aimlessly and cluelessly wander through life, butchering the English language? Do you want people to hear your message without the distractions of poor grammar and funky phraseology? Do you want people to respect your point of view when you speak and write, or do you not care that people are whispering all manner of insults about your lack of intelligence behind your back? When you're writing, do you want people to read and clearly understand the words you have written? If so, then I'm your man! Thank gawd there is a man amongst the crowd who isn't so anti-English!  

Don’t you just hate it when mofos write in ALL CAPITALIZED letters? I mean, come on, that shit is like shouting. The purpose of CAPITAL LETTERS is for proper nouns (a person’s name) or to begin a sentence—and to HIGHLIGHT a particular thought. Posts, essays, blogs and comments written in ALL CAPS--I very seldom read or finish reading--unless I know this mofo is really ticked-off about something. But if you're writing in ALL CAPS about some pleasantry--it is INCORRECT!

Computer etiquette dictates that you should write the way you speak and writing in ALL CAPS is not the way most people speak.

Take a look at the following examples and ask yourself which is more eye-friendly and comprehendible. "LAST NIGHT, ME AND MY WIFE HAD AN ARGUMENT OVER WRITING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS." Or "Last night, me and my wife had an argument over writing in all capital letters."

You have to agree that lower-case lettering is easier to read and comprehend.

Research says these four (4) things about writing in ALL CAPS. #1. Writing in ALL CAPS is bad on the eyes. #2. Writing in ALL CAPS makes sentences harder to read. #3. Writing in ALL CAPS causes the reader to lose interest in reading what you've written. #4. Writing in ALL CAPS underscores those things that should be highlighted and emphasized.

Whether you’re on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram or Facebook just having fun or commenting on someone’s blog or post, you should NEVER (notice the ALL CAP emphasis on “NEVER”) use ALL CAPS. It is ignorant, self-serving and un-eye-friendly. Writing in ALL CAPS is shouting and argumentative! It’s like using an exclamation mark (!!!!) while you’re having a conversation. It’s bogarting/bum-rushing a conversation. Imagine, for a minute, if your best friend screamed at you every time they spoke to you. That’s what writing in ALL CAPS is—one screaming rant in which the main points of your written conversation are lost in all of the hoopla of your grammatical faux pax. (Misstep) Writing in ALL CAPS says that what I have to say is greater than what you have to say.

You ever watched two people arguing on Jerry Springer and you couldn’t make out what they were arguing about? Similarly, people who write in ALL CAPS think they are getting their point across, but, in actuality, their point gets muddled in a quagmire of BIG LETTERS.

If you're writing in ALL CAPS you should mean it! If you're writing in ALL CAPS and aren't mad, pissed, peeved and downright livid--it's like cursing with a smile on your face. (Where dey do dat at?) I said, "Writing in ALL CAPS is like cursing someone out with a smile on your face!"

Writing in ALL CAPS has its place, yet still, if you want to be heard you must choose which words to CAP for maximum punch.

Stop writing in ALL CAPS! People who write in ALL CAPS make a concerted/conscious effort to leave the “Cap Lock” key on. They do this intentionally, because they think they have something relevant to say that the whole Internet world must know. Writing in ALL CAPS is a testament to their overinflated ego. People who write in ALL CAPS are begging to be heard—“Hey! Look at me Internet world! I’ve got something to say!” Again, people who write in ALL CAPS think that they have a point, which is greater than all other points. People who write in ALL CAPS think they are reading/sonning the next person. People who write in ALL CAPS are dip-shits! STOP WRITING IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you aren't doing this--"HEY MOTHERFUCKER! KISS MY BLACK ASS YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!" then you are ABUSING the "Cap Lock" on your keyboard; for this is the only time ALL CAPS are warranted and justified. Use your ALL CAPS sparingly so that when you need to SHOUT, your words will be much more effective. See how I ALL CAPPED the word, "SHOUT?" 

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