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Sunglasses in the Club? For the Cool In You!

Sunglasses in the Club? For the Cool in You!

By Khalil Amani

Recently, I had a chick try to clown me for wearing a pair of shades in the club, so I thought about why I wear shades in the club (on occasion) and what it does for my psyche and hence, the psyche of others sporting a fly pair of designer shades. (I love when people unwittingly give me material to write about! LOL! I guess that’s why I’m never offended at any conversation I encounter! It’s just cannon-fodder and food-for-thought, so I can get my writing shit off.)

Since the dawn of clubbing, wearing sunglasses—aka “Shades” aka “Stunnas” aka “Hater-Blockers” has been fashion accoutrement in the club. It has zero to do with sunshine! I don’t care how far you go back—1920’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s— wearing shades in the club is a continuum in the realm of coolness—from those great jazz musicians like John Coltrane, Sonny Rollins, Miles Davis, Thelonoius Monk and Dave Brubeck right on down to Liberace & Elton John, Steve Wonder & Ray Charles (mostly ‘cause they’re blind though) and Michael Jackson & Prince and President Barack Obama—they know the value of wearing shades, notwithstanding the sun.

Yes! Some people think it’s a silly thing to do. Sunglasses are for protecting the eyes against the sun, they’d say. I say this is just the outdated and antiquated thinking of some people who fell to realize that sunglasses are a “fashion statement” and part of a person’s club swag. Just as the cell phone has evolved from “portable telephone” to “portable computer” that just happens to allow you to make telephone calls, so it is with sunglasses. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Fendi, Versace, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Coach, Pierre Cardin, Polo, Giorgio Armani, Oakley, Juicy Couture, Ray Ban—they all cater to making sunglasses that are capable of doing what they were intended to do—protect the eyes from the sun, but have so beautifully crafted them that people wanna show them off—at night—in the club! Couple that by the fact that any mall in America you might visit has a knock-off sunglass booth right smack-dab in the middle of the walkway.

Wore mostly by men, shades in the club actually serves a very personal purpose.

Admit it! A dude or a chick with a fly-ass pair of shades on that goes with their club outfit is bomb! Shades add contour to the face. Shades hide deficiencies and flaws in the face. Shades add mystery to one's countenance (facial expression). Shades in the club can actually make a not-so-aesthetically-pleasing face look good.

True enough. Shades in an already darkened club seems like silliness personified, but I ask you this! Why is the club dark in the first place? I’ll tell you why! For the same reason that Negus wear shades in the club; that is, to give the club a sexy, sensual and mysterious atmosphere—(and to hide the club’s and the patrons’ flaws. LOL!) A darkened club and a few drinks makes things look better than they really are. If you don’t believe me, just stick around until “last call for alcohol” when they turn on the lights. Dudes’ and chicks’ flaws all-of-a-sudden become magnified tenfold! Again! Why is every club you’ve ever been in dark? You think its coincidence? You think they’re saving on the electric bill while, at the same time, charging you anywhere from $10 to $100 to sit in their darkened building? Nay! They are adding mystique to your club-going experience. The night-time darkened club is like a building with sunglasses on.

The premise is the same when wearing shades in the club. Wearing shades in the club makes a person mysterious and sexy, while, at the same time, hiding any physical flaws that are readily visible to the eyes—like crow’s feet, bags under your eyes, blood-shot eyes and miscellaneous pimples.

But now, let’s take this thingy a step further. When I wear shades in the club, I’m really on my selfish ish (if I’m dolo). I really don’t wanna be bothered with chicks trying to eye-fuck me or dudes walking by giving me the head-nod treatment. I simply wanna sip on my drink, bop my head to the music and when that feeling hits me, get up and dance by my damned self—shades on, drink in hand! (But I tell ya! Err’time I do this, wouldn’t you know it! A chick magically appears out of thin air and kills my groove by wanting me to dance with her!) Now I’ve gotta take the attention I was paying myself and give her some. (Oh, the life of a fly-ass handsome old dude!)

Wearing shades in the club allows me to zone out. I’m the coolest mofo in the house! That’s the feeling I get. I’m the kinda dude that enjoys going on the dance floor by myself and dancing by myself! Always been that way, not just in my older age. I know I can dance and I know chicks (and dudes) be looking at a Negus and thinking, “Dude is in his own world and he gives no fucks about these hoes in here!” Tru’ dat!

Wearing shades in the club gives me a sense of anonymity. You don’t know me and I don’t know you! Wearing shades in the club also allows me to eyeball people without them knowing I’m all up in their business. LOL.

The next time you laugh at a person wearing sunglasses in the club, look inwardly and ask yourself why are you sitting in a dimly lit room, bordering on midnight-black when the light switch is just a few feet away from you. The next time you see me in the club rocking some sunglasses, know that I ain’t thinking about your ass! I’m romancing myself—and looking good doing it!

Khalil Amani is a blogger for AllHipHop. He also writes for DJ Kay Slay’s Originators Magazine & Straight Stuntin Magazine. He is the author of six books, including the ground-breaking book, “Hip-Hop Homophobes…” iuniverse.com 07). Amani is gay hip-hop’s self-proclaimed straight advocate. Visit The Coonerific One athttp://www.khalilamani.ning.com Follow on Facebook/Twitter @khalilamani. Instagram @khalil_amani, Youtube @ yahweh 12 Khalilamani@yahoo.com Amani's books are orderable at www.iuniverse.com. or any Barnes & Nobles, Borders.

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